seniors

How to Manage the Stress of Caring for the Elderly During the Holidays

Overwhelmed and stressed-out caregivers may view the holidays as a drain of precious energy rather than a joyous occasion. The love, peace and goodwill are replaced with stress, frustration and anger. Everything from the preparation to the actual event can be tiresome.

Here are some suggestions to help make the holidays more enjoyable and less stressful for caregivers. Keep in mind that the holidays can provide unique opportunities to seek better communication, connection and support from family and friends.

Talk to Family Members Before the Holidays – It is common for caregivers to be disappointed with family members who they feel are not “pulling their weight” in the caregiving responsibilities. Consider clearing the air before the holidays. If this is not a direction you want to take, perhaps resolve within yourself to put those feelings on hold, with the intention to discuss the matter after the holiday season passes. In the meantime, enjoy the holiday. After you have decided when and how much to communicate, you can release the tension of holding onto it and enjoy the festivities.

Ask for Help When Needed – Let family members know that your caregiving duties are keeping you very busy. You only have so much time and energy for holiday preparation and hosting duties. Any reasonable person will understand and hopefully offer their help.

Be Honest – It is understandable to have reservations about opening up too much and being perceived as complaining or inadequate to the task of caregiving. However, honest communication about the realities of your caregiving situation offers others the opportunity to respond with assistance or at least be in tune to what is going on.

Give the Gift of Gratitude – After the holidays, write a short thank you note to family members or friends who spent time with your loved one. Emphasize the positive impact their visit, or brief time spent with your loved one had on them. This may reinforce positive feelings from their visit and diminish any discomfort they might have experienced. They might be more encouraged to visit again or be more supportive of your efforts.

The holidays should be a time when loved ones come together to enjoy each other’s company. It should not be stressful because of the sometimes tiresome task of taking care of elderly loved ones. By utilizing these tips, you can make your time with family members more enjoyable this holiday season.

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CCRC Contract Considerations

Continuing care retirement communities (CCRCs) offer increasing levels of care at one location as residents’ needs change. The security of knowing you’ ll be cared for throughout various stages of health and aging is an attractive option for many seniors and typically involves a major investment of resources.

Before signing a contract with a CCRC, make sure you understand its terms and have the contract reviewed so you full understand what you are signing.

Types of CCRC Contracts

Life Care (also called Extensive Care or Type A contracts)
Includes housing, residential services, amenities and unlimited use of health care services with no (or minimal) increase in fees. A substantial entrance fee is usually required, but monthly payments do not increase.

Modified (or Type B contracts)
Includes similar housing and residential services as Life Care, but health care services are limited. Fees increase when a resident’s care needs exceed what’s included.

Fee-for-Service (or Type C contracts)
Also includes housing and residential services and amenities similar to Life Care, but health care expenses are paid by the resident on an as-needed basis at market rates.

Rental (or Type D contracts)
Less common, this is a pay-as-you-go option with no entrance fee. The resident pays all health expenses, but access to the facility’s health care services is guaranteed.

Other Considerations

Fees – If increases are allowed, how is this determined and to what extent are they capped?

Refunds – Is any portion of the entrance fee refundable?

Deposits – If a deposit is paid to secure a space, under what circumstances will this be refunded?

Involuntary Transfers – Can a facility force one spouse (who requires a higher level of care) to be separated from his/her spouse (and potentially face higher expenses)?

Involuntary Discharges – What are the facility’s policies if a resident can no longer cover their fees?

Many, many seniors have found happy homes at CCRCs. Given the number of factors involved in a decision, the smartest buyers do their research and seek advice before signing a residency contract.

The Challenges of Selling the Family Home

Working with our senior clients is a very rewarding experience on many levels for Annette and I.

At the same time, there are unique challenges that we encounter that don’t occur with our younger clients.

For a client selling the family home that they have lived in for 30, 40 or 50+ years, this can be a stressful time. When it is “the family home”, and adult children and grandchildren are involved, the challenges and stress are often magnified.

We find ourselves having to address many unique and sometimes difficult circumstances that don’t occur with younger clients. When children and grandchildren are involved, there are a lot family dynamics to work with. There is also a need to be sensitive, while at the same time, address how to get an outdated or cluttered home ready to sell. We also find ourselves typically playing a more active role than is required with our other buyers and sellers.

While challenging, these situations also provide us with an opportunity build great relationships with an entire family members from multiple generations as we help them all cope during sometimes trying times.

Here are just some of the unique situations we encounter:

People Issues: Dealing with the Family

Issue: Emotions Are Running High

Selling a home is always an emotional time. But the circumstances surrounding selling a family home can bring out more emotional issues than usual. After all, this is a house where now-adult children were raised, and it holds more memories and sentimental importance than a recently-acquired home. Everyone could feel they have a stake in the outcome of the sale.

A large part of our role is to act as a calming force and facilitator in order to help smooth the choppy emotional waters and make the sale, “sail” through for all concerned. This is done by remaining ever helpful to all parties and maintaining good communications.

Issue: Too Many People Are Involved

We often find ourselves dealing with more PEOPLE than usual when selling the family home. And several of those people can be sporting a fine array of emotional issues attached to the sale of and decisions about the home. There is the owner (or owners) and their children and possibly their grandchildren, siblings, nieces and nephews and others.

Our first goal when becoming involved is to determine who our principal contact will be. We have a duty and obligation to deal with the owner directly unless the owner authorizes us to deal with family members or other trusted individuals. This can sometimes be challenging when a family member wants to help and this isn’t the wish of the owner.

A relative or caregiver can be extremely helpful by acting as a guide, interpreter and facilitator to an elderly owner. With that said, it can be very challenging if more than one person is attempting to fill this role, hence we always ask for one person to be the primary contact.

Issue: The House is Woefully Outdated

More than once or twice we’ve walked into a home and felt like we just stepped through a 30-, 40- or even 50-year time portal.

In this situation, we have two options to move forward with, depending on the situation.

The first is to sell the home with minimal or no changes. The second option if the seller/family has the time, the money, and the inclination, is for us to recommend updates that will provide a return for the investment in addition to causing the house to sell faster and for more money.

What kind of changes do we typically consider?

Paint is always the first and best return on investment option. Removing wallpaper and those popular “borders” from the 1980s goes a long way toward updating the look without breaking the bank. Some of the less desirable, but unchangeable, features can be artfully camouflaged-or perhaps featured for their retro charm-with skillful staging techniques.

Flooring is usually the next best investment. Changing out the 40 year old green carpet does wonders to getting buyer interest and the home sold.

For some homeowners, there priority is not to have their life disrupted with work the house, especially sometimes when they have pets, and they would rather take a slightly lower price over inconvenience and added stress.

Issue: Clutter, Clutter, Everywhere!

Many homes we’ve sold have initially been overflowing with “stuff” and have needed significant help before the home can be successfully shown to potential buyers.

By being sensitive, understanding and explaining the drawbacks of showing a house that’s too full, we are able to then give options on how we can help de-clutter the home to improve a home’s resale value.

In many cases, our clients are moving from a family home into a smaller house, a condo, an apartment or an assisted living situation. In these scenarios, the amount of space available will be dramatically reduced, so we explain that now is the perfect time to share treasures with the rest of the family. Divesting the home of furniture, heirlooms, collections and items of sentimental and financial worth will minimize the expense of moving, plus it will eliminate double-handling and the need for offsite, possibly long-term storage.

These are just some of the challenges we encounter in the sale of the family home. For the most part it is more about the “emotional move” than the “physical move” when it comes to our long term homeowners.

A great resource to learn more is our “Downsizing Made Easy” guide.

Relieved us of a lot of stress

We were very impressed with all the people involved with the sale of our house: the photographer, the designer, contractors, and other agents brought together by Annette.

The quick response from Annette to any of our concerns relieved us of a lot of stress. She kept in contact with us even when out of town. We knew we could depend on her to address any of our problems. The sale went very smoothly. – Jim and Barbara C.

Make Long-Term Care Plans before They Are Needed

The best time to make decisions regarding long-term care is well before it’s needed. An unexpected illness or injury may force you or a loved one into making hasty decisions.

Long-term care is a set of services and supports for people who are unable to perform Activities of Daily Living (ADLs). ADLs are self-care activities, such as getting in and out of bed, walking, bathing, dressing, eating, and bowel and bladder management. About 70 percent of people turning 65 can expect to need some kind of long-term care services as they age. Experts encourage everyone over age 50 to take the time, while you have it, to research options and make important choices. Long-term care planning means developing a personal strategy now for how things should be handled later when you or a loved one is in need of care. Important considerations include the following:

Staying In Charge
An important part of long-term care planning is outlining how you would like things to be handled. Expressing preferences clearly about how any declines in ADLs should be handled, what financial resources are available, and who should provide needed care is a good way to retain control. All adults over age 18 should execute legal documents that appoint one or more individuals to make health care and financial decisions for them in the event they become unable to make decisions for themselves. Adults who lose the ability to make decisions before executing these documents must have the court system appoint someone to make decisions for them. An attorney can also prepare an advance care directive, which is a set of written instructions detailing what medical care you want or do not want.

Housing
Those who would prefer to stay at home for as long as possible should make a plan to do so, and consider making modifications as needed. Home modifications are often intended to allow maximum self-care, and to help avoid a fall. Avoiding a fall can help delay or avoid the need for long-term care. Typical modifications include widening doorways, adding wheelchair ramps, improving lighting, mounting stairway chair lifts, installing medical alert systems and adding handrails or safety grips. An important consideration for anyone planning to stay home is to ensure the bathroom can be used safely. Ideally, your residence should maximize your ability to continue performing ADLs, and help you avoid a fall.

Primary Care
Maintaining a good relationship with a primary care physician is key. Regular check-ups can lead to early diagnosis of any physical, mental or emotional decline. Be honest and open about symptoms, daily habits or changes in appetite. Be sure to have the primary care physician review all medications. Ongoing medication management is an important part of staying healthy and avoiding a fall.

Family Care
Unpaid family members are the most common source of long-term care help. But, they may not be able to provide all the care you need, or be there every hour of the day. If you intend to rely on family members for long-term care services be sure to involve them in your long-term care planning. Make sure they are willing and able to be caregivers for you.

Paid Care
As part of your long-term care plan, look into caregiving services in your area, including in-home care providers and elder daycare centers. Find out about elder shuttles, meals on wheels and other low-cost services offered in your community. Several types of housing come with support services for people who cannot fully take care of themselves due to aging and/or disability.

Public housing is available for low-to-moderate income elderly and persons with disabilities.

Assisted living homes are group living settings that offer housing in addition to assistance with ADLs and other services, such as meals. Generally, they do not provide medical care.

Continuing care retirement communities provide a range of housing options, including independent living units, assisted living and nursing homes, all on the same campus.

Nursing facilities, or nursing homes, are the most service-intensive housing option, providing skilled nursing services and therapies as needed.

Take the time to familiarize yourself with the different types of facilities available in your area. If you need assistance or referrals, call us today at 775-432-6300.

Aging in Place? These Kitchen and Bathroom Design Trends Are Really Hot

As more homeowners are making the commitment to aging in place, it is important to seek out new resources to help folks with new ways to transition their home for the “extended stay”‘. Aging in place expert Mary Jo Peterson, CKD, CBD, CAPS (www.mjpdesign.com) noted that design trends toward more open spaces and generous daylight have forced designers to use fewer wall cabinets and the response from consumers is tremendous.

Peterson also points out that more renovations include placing appliances at comfortable heights. Peterson says she used to be a lonely voice encouraging splitting double ovens so each might be placed at a more accessible height, but today, clients are asking for them.

She says beware, however, because this is one of those Universal Design concepts that only works when it fits into the design.

Another source, Certified Aging in Place Specialist, Charlie Hudson of Hudson Remodeling offers these Aging in Place/Universal Design Tips:

Install bath and shower grab bars. When properly installed, grab bars are effective in helping prevent slips and falls. Typically, they are the first item people turn to when looking to improve bathroom safety.
Replace a traditional tub with a walk-in shower unit. Wonderful step-free shower units can be created in the same space currently used for a bathtub. Walk-in showers can be installed as prefabricated units or as a custom project using materials like tile and glass.
Consider remodeling to add a ground floor master suite. This type of remodel not only allows seniors to stay in their own home as long as possible, it can also help those recovering from injury or illness.
In the kitchen, relocate (or raise) the level of your dishwasher to make loading/unloading easier; install pull-out shelves in lower cabinets for easier access.
Change hardware throughout the house; using levers or “D” pulls can make it easier for all abilities to open and close doors and cabinets.
Install handrails along interior and exterior staircases; make sure those areas are well lit as well.

By John Voket